hopeless ranting

Yesterday, a fly got on my nerves. The little shiteater decided it was a good idea to fly into me and nip at my arms constantly while I attempted to wash my hands. This caused rage to build inside of me. I ran downstairs and grabbed a glass cup to deal with the tiny menace. After 15 minutes of trying to catch him, I realized that this fly was amazingly quick. I caught him in the cub I placed it into the freezer. A decent amount of time passed and I opened the freezer door to pull him out, gladly finding his body to be not moving. I attempted to tie a string around him multiple times, but his body unfroze many times and I had to re-catch him. After one last successful recapturing and refreezing, I finally tied thread around his neck, and then taped the string to a pen that was sticking into clay. The little bitch was finally conquered. I let him buzz around for hours while I went to night class and left a little piece of beef jerky, just beyond his reach. He was pissed. I killed him eventually, just after I got home.

I hate flies.

Running and I have a love-hate relationship. At times, going out for a nice job or even an intense sprint can actually me… dare I say it… enjoyable. The fresh air slapping in my face can be soothing. It gets me fit enough to get by, and it keeps me busy. The perks to running long distance are pretty obvious I guess, but there really aren’t that many.

Let’s face the big issues now. I run cross country, so the amount of miles I usually run every day are around 3ish. Some hardcore runner kids might laugh at this, but some would agree that that’s quite a bit. It kind of sucks that each course features a varied assortment of hills as well. For me at least, these treks are arduous. I sweat, I ache, and I get sore the next day. Running an actual, measured out 5k at race pace makes it all the worse. Cotton-mouth becomes a major factor, and then it turns into the dreaded glue-mouth. My breathing feels like it becomes random, and my life basically sucks for somewhere around 20 minutes. For all of these reasons, and the big race day anxiety factor, I didn’t run track last year. Cross Country is about all of the running I can handle these days. All of us runners would agree that it sucks, BUT the pain is supposed to make us stronger and faster blahblahblah. Well hey… I suppose there’s some pretty scenery on some of those Cross Country courses.

I guess it all comes down to the fact that running is something to do. I slide away from being a lazy shithead on practice days, even if it is for just an hour.

Animal lovers can go ahead and shove it right now. These little critters bug the shit out of me. I’m mainly referring to seagulls and pigeons. For the most part, these members of the class Aves are dirty and disgusting. They smell, and they shit while in flight. Their excretion is drippy and leaves little marks on everything. I dislike living in constant fear of having digested seeds and people’s uneaten trash thrown down upon my head from the anus of a squawking nuisance. The seagulls are usually the ones who fly around public places, shitting wherever they damn well please. Pigeons annoy me in public places by getting in the fucking way. If I was ever to kick one I’d become the bad guy, so I sometimes attempt to just ignore them.

My most recent encounter with this little birds came from within the walls above my head right now. A few months back, we had a pigeons living in the little gap between the V arch of our roof. I happen to be right in the correct room where their every action and noise could be heard. They frequently had what sounded like raging sex, it it was annoying. Pigeon fucking must be awfully rough. Their scratchy little claws made me want to rip them out of that dwelling and jam pencils into each pigeons beady little eyes. I hate the sounds they make in general and I do not want them living near me again.

I have no nice solution on how I’d like to deal with my hatred for this flying bastards. I can always just shoot the ones that piss me off, I guess. That’s just how I see it.

If I’m currently using a urinal in a guy’s bathroom, don’t wait for me to finish to stand and pee two stalls away from where I was. I don’t want to look at your penis. I’m not interested in having a piss chat with you, so I promise that I won’t talk to you, just as long as you don’t talk to me. When you stand behind me and wait, it makes it worse. It feels weird. Your presence there is awkward. I mean, you can do it if you want. I could think of worse things you can do to me in a bathroom. I just don’t see the point of it.

Mhm. Those are my only thoughts.

You’ve probably encountered these individuals somewhere. You may have seen them walking around a college campus, sipping hot tea at your local coffee shop, or they may even sit next to you in English class. I’ll put it out there now, I hate these people. I think we’ve all been dealing with their bullshit for quite enough time now. These are the same idiots who try to compare life to a flowing river. Most of them live and breathe only to kiss the asses of those above them. They claim to have revolutionary thoughts about life, and let’s face it; they listen to the Beatles (White Album). Pseudo-intellectuals have passion for literature and art, both of which they believe can be explained in a few words being said over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over with only slight variation. I dislike these people because they are annoying. Shit, they might even buy low prescription glasses to look smart for all I know. They have no true opinion of their own, but instead leech off others and rephrase the ideas they discover with Thesaurus in hand. Creatures like this repeat exactly what an instructor says back to them, expecting a pat on the back. Although the above explanation is not based on fact, I still think it’s reason enough for me to not like these people. I don’t care if you like them, or think what I’ve said is incorrect.

To all of you Pseudo-intellectuals out there, who happen to stumble over this waste of a blog, I challenge you to please complain about this post. Tell me I’m wrong. I’m extraordinarily interested in your theories on our universe and how if we all have positive karma and and and and.. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m lying. I can’t even sit here and pretend one of you is talking to me. Please, do me a favor and stop talking. Forever.

I think it goes without saying that fat people can be extremely annoying. It’s not fair to generalize and say this about ALL fat people, but for the record, I don’t care. I’ll start off by discussing their actions in theme parks and other similar places. Many of these large human beings think that they reserve some right to roll around on motorized scooter chairs. They bump into me. They make snide remarks. They don’t realize that they smell disgusting. They piss me off. They cut lines and demand constant assistance. They waste my time, and the time of employees.

Here’s my message to fatties like this: Fuck you. Your obesity problem is not a disability, it’s a result of your living style. Look around you. People are loosing weight faster than ever while you pigs buzz around expecting healthy people to kiss your pudgy feet. I don’t care if you’re addicted to food, or if you have some sort of family tendency to be fat. Do something about it. Maybe you can just wear some extra deodorant or learn to move around without the assistance of modern machinery.

In my opinion, we should let all of these cows roll around on the ground and let them starve to death. Leave those chairs to people who actually need them, and have no decision in whether or not they can freely move.

That’s just about all I have to say… for now.

Well, here it goes. As you may know I’m Andrew. If you haven’t checked the “About the Author” page on here that covers a few of the specifics, it might be a good idea. My goal in this whole blogging thing is to finally talk some shit about the things in life that bug me. Sometimes I keep my opinions to myself, but usually I’m a loud mouth about it. I guess that’s just how I am. Honestly though, I’m also in in for the cash. It’s easy to throw down random thoughts on the internet and get a few bucks for it, considering 100 words a day is not a challenge at all.

I guess I’ll make this post my one and only that doesn’t deal with something that pisses me off. There really isn’t much more to say here. Throw a comment my way if you feel like you have something interesting or witty to say.

Have a nice day?